Last night was most definitely out of the ordinary. My husband got a text from a friend, and thought he should go visit him at 10:30 at night. Now, this is odd for several reasons, but mostly because my husband doesn’t really talk much or give advice. Well, I should rephrase that last part. My husband gives advice but it normally isn’t what people want to hear because he gives them the truth without any candy coating.
Anyways given the friend, the time and the situation (plus I wanted to read a book), I did not mind at all that Monte went down to visit for over two hours. Most wives would be angry or freaking out. Me, I was happy to have the bed to myself and some peace and quiet to read. Once I finished my book and he still wasn’t home, I started to worry but not so much that he wasn’t home, but as to what could be so wrong that he was still gone.
When he got home he looked sad and he told me what was going on. His friend"s new marriage was on the rocks and he didn’t think it was going to survive. The wife had taken off to stay at her mom’s for a few days and it wasn’t the first time. She was already talking about custody of their newborn baby. Needless to say the details aren’t important. What mattered the most to me was the look in my husband’s eyes.
While I could see he was sad, he was also grateful. We know each other well enough to know these sorts of things without them having to be validated with words. He was glad that we weren’t like that. He knows that I would never run off to my moms, no matter how rough things got. I would stick by his side and we would work things out.
I was happy last night, really happy. I did feel bad about his friend’s situation but my own happiness trumped the sympathy by far. Last night, I laid awake thinking how glad I am that my marriage is the way it is. I know it isn’t perfect, but it is something pretty special. We don’t have to say how we feel but we both know that we have an unconditional love for each other and a trust that is unlike anything I have ever seen in a marriage. It was nice to feel this way.
After that, I couldn’t help but thinking about the wife’s mother. What kind of mom enables their child to run from their problems like that. If it was a one time thing after a serious fight, that is completely acceptable. But, to let your child come home because she is mad her husband didn’t tuck in the corners of the comforter when he made the bed. As a parent, shouldn’t she tell her daughter to go home and try to work things out? Her daughter made a commitment before god and government. Her husband is the father of her child. The old saying comes to mind, you have made your bed now lie in it.
Running away is only going to make things worse. I understand sometimes you need time away to collect your thoughts and calm your anger. However, running away for almost a week at a time, it is just wrong. If that is how she handles things, she shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Her husband deserves more than that. Maybe this is why marriages fail now days, they are just so easy to run from that you never have to fix the problems. You can just run away and then start over and there is no one to make you face things.
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